What low self-esteem can look like
Low self-worth rarely announces itself. It hides inside perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the quiet certainty that everyone else has it figured out. Some of what people bring to me:
- A relentless inner critic that narrates everything you do
- Perfectionism, or feeling like your worth depends on your output
- People-pleasing and difficulty saying no
- Comparing yourself to others and always coming up short
- Imposter feelings at work or in relationships
- Struggles with body image or feeling at home in yourself
- Not knowing who you are outside of the roles you play
- Shame that lingers from past experiences
None of this means something is wrong with you. It usually means somewhere along the way, being hard on yourself started to feel like the safest option.
How I work with self-esteem and identity
I work from an Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed and compassion-focused lens. That inner critic isn't your enemy; it's a part of you that learned, often early, that criticism was the way to stay safe, accepted, or ahead of the curve. When we get curious about it instead of fighting it, it tends to soften, and the parts of you it's been protecting finally get some room.
I also draw on narrative approaches, because the story you tell about yourself is editable, and somatic tools for the shame and anxiety that live in the body. I'm trauma-informed throughout; low self-worth often has roots in experiences that deserve care rather than more self-blame.
The goal is a sense of worth that doesn't depend on your last achievement, your last text back, or anyone else's approval.
What to expect
We start with a free 15-minute consultation. Our first full session is an intake where we look at where the self-criticism shows up most and what you'd like to feel instead.
Sessions are 50 minutes, weekly or biweekly, online via secure HIPAA-compliant video. Over time, people often describe it as finally being on their own side.
I'm a Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate (LMHCA) and Certified Life Coach practicing under approved clinical supervision in Washington State. Sessions are $150 for 50 minutes; I'm an out-of-network provider and provide monthly superbills for possible insurance reimbursement.